The human mind has over 50,000+ thoughts per day. Could you imagine each of your thoughts finding fault with everything? Each thought has to do with correcting, fixing, attacking, blaming or criticizing others because, the way someone lives is not perfect enough for you. Or, Life is not perfect enough for you. Could you imagine how stressful and time consuming that is?
If you are finding fault with life when there are no problems with anything, you suffer, it is as simple as that. Your thoughts add their commentary on: How long the Starbucks line is, How long the traffic is, How someone shouldn’t be wearing shorts on a 55 degree day outside, How the weather is not warm enough, or How you are not intelligent or beautiful enough?
The point: When you believe your thoughts you suffer and you create suffering for yourself and others as a result.
If you really want to live a “peaceful life,” you have to make “peace” with life. You make peace by stop finding fault with everything your mind thinks is imperfect. Life simply is, without interpretation or commentary. You accept it as it is in the moment. You accept it as it is, because that is the Reality. That is how you stay in the present.
That is how you keep your peace, your sanity, by being aware that your mind has crazy ass thoughts but you, that which is aware of them does not have to believe them. That is your power.
To cultivate that power of Awareness, of Presence or Spaciousness, you have to be still by focusing on your breathing. That brings you back to the Now, to your peace.
When you love life, you love peace, you love the present, you love and accept what happens, because reality is no other way than it appears than here in the Now. By reminding yourself of the “inherent peace, love and happiness” that exist within you, you give us the permission to do the same. That is being that change you want to see in the world.
It’s an act of self-betrayal to say, “Yes” to someone, when you really mean, “No.” Once you do tell someone “Yes,” you begin to resent that person and blame them later for what you said “Yes” to, but really meant “No.”
You chose to do this because, you wanted “approval” from that person. But, deeper than approval, you wanted “love” from them. But, you choose to manipulate them and yourself by lying to receive this love, which always ends in suffering for the both of you.
You cannot receive love or give love by being dishonest towards yourself or another. Your intention voids the love before it is received by another. Which is why you beat yourself up about it after you made the choice.
“When you know better, you live within alignment with Love. When you do not know better, you fall out of alignment with Love and you suffer.”
You cannot blame another for mistakes you have chosen to make. That is avoiding personal responsibility.
By being honest, say Yes when you means Yes, and No when you mean No. That honors yourself, by taking responsibility and you’ll be happy in the long run. That’s the way the Universe is setup.
Realize, you cannot always please everyone so, you might as well honor you truth instead of betraying yourself.
Is It Flirting or Noticing Beauty?
To be realistic, you have to understand that human beings will stare, glance, and look at each other out of simply just being appreciative of another persons beauty. They don’t just do it to people but, to art, newborn babies, music, watching a sunset or rise, or nature. Just because, a woman/man see another as beautiful in certain way, does not mean the person they are coupled with is not lovable or not loved as at all. It just means they are noticing that another person is beautiful.
If they laugh, or enjoy being in their presence that is not a bad thing. It is only conducive if what they act on infringes on the agreements they setup in their relationship. Your partner was looking at men and women before they met you, they will after. Not because they want them, but because their beautiful.
When you tell a person they can’t do something, you are not loving them, you’re trying to control them because, you fear you will lose the love in your relationship.
If you are insecure, you need to ask yourself, “Can I really lose the love in the relationship or is it my thoughts just projecting it fears onto the relationship?”
In reality, you can never lose the love you have for someone. You love them because, you love them. It does not matter if they love you. Your love for them is not conditional on the fact they love you. You love them because it is a joy, to love being in the presence of them.
Am I saying flirting does not exist?
No, I am saying that just cause flirting appears as that does not mean its flirting. But, consider you might just be overreacting. If your partner is flirting let your concerns and listen to theirs be heard but, don’t tell them what to do or that will exacerbate the issue and they will eventually leave you because you were not accepting them as they are.
Either they will continue to flirt or consciously change their behavior. But, if you are trying to control your relationship is a recipe for disaster.
Consider your partner is teaching you to love without conditions by bringing up your insecurities and fears. That is a lesson to learn.
To truly love, means being free to be who you are without judgment, manipulation, control or fear. That means all the lying games stop when it comes down to real love.
Noticing when you are in fear:
Just know when you’re in fear, you are not loving, when you’re being insecure or controlling, jealous or possessing, you are not loving. That is your opportunity to grow.
"We’re all here in this life to teach each other how to love without conditions. It’s getting rid of your preconceived ideas about love, so real love and come through the both of you."
The Present Moment Empowers, The Past Vetos Your Power
In reality, the past doesn’t exist. The only moment we have with each other is now, in this moment. When you recall things that have happened into the present, and you mull them over in your mind, believing that things could or should have been different, when they are not, you are giving the past power over your mind. Dwelling takes you out of your power, it takes you out of the Now. Over-thinking, blaming, shaming, judging, resenting, hating all keeps you in your past, throws you out of the Now.
While each precious moment is passing, the question is where are you?
Something you can do, to keep you in the present, when you mind projects into the past or future is to ask yourself, “What’s the reality of this?” By being aware of your thoughts and feelings, you can consciously begin to know when you mind goes astray and when to wheel it back in to the stillness of being.
The reality is that these events happened and there was nothing you could do about it at the time. Otherwise, you would have. That’s the reality. You cannot alter what has already occurred. But, you can make new choices. Now, that is empowering.
Making new choices, takes you out of the past and brings you into the present. Acceptance of what has happened brings inner peace. Being present in this moment takes you out of your shame, guilt, anger, grief or blame and into your power to be a Creator of new experiences here in the Now.
When you are not loving is when you’re trying to find fault with reality, control reality, or seek out love from the outside world because you believe the thought I am not loving.
You seek love in people, substances, food, books, spiritual beliefs, retreats, and material possessions because, you believe I am not enough. I am not lovable. All of this temporarily provides:
- Avoidance to look at your own fears.
- Irresponsibility for you to project blame out into the world, rather than own your experience.
- Security to compensate for your lack of insecurity on the inside.
- Control to manage your suffering.
You need to investigate, own your experience by expressing your truth and not projecting it on to others, become aware of what you experience to see that you are not your sensations, images, feelings and thoughts, recognize the world is impermanent and will never provide you will the security you seek. Accept your guilt, anger, heartbreak, your story, in order to free your self to move on.
“The best plan is no plan. The best form is no form. The best self is no self. The best style is no style. The best action is in the spontaneity of the moment. For you know, nothing you are going to say or do. But, you trust in what happens and you allow that to unfold naturally. Trust in the moment.”
Why would one do this?
Living a life without a plan, gives you the freedom to make decisions on a moment-to-moment basis. It gives you to the freedom to have more time to just be, without worry, stress, or fear of uncertainty or change.
You abide in contentment, not knowing where you will go in the next moment, or what you will do or say to another person or how you will serve others.
You trust in Reality (God’s Will, The Universe, Source Energy, The Tao (pronounced-Dao), Allah, etc;) of what happens.
You have faith that all things will turn out for the best, because, whatever shows up in Reality, is the best in this moment.
You live and abide in acceptance, inner peace, non-attachment to the results of your actions.
If your intention is right, then the result will be also. This is how Masters work.
Be a Master and try it.
Jesus lived like this. Bruce Lee lived like this. Lao Tzu lived like this. Buddha lived like this. Byron Katie lives like this. Eckhart Tolle lives like this. Michael Jordan lived like this. Panache Desai lives like this.
There must be something right if, these individuals are living it.
I live like this when in one moment, I do not know what I am going to write, then this happens. I, Marcus Thomas does not write this. The Source, Consciousness, that express through Marcus Thomas does.
When the writing occurs for me, I feel I am on purpose. because, in the moment, The Divine is expressing what it needs to. That is serving a collective purpose. That’s when I know I am living my purpose as a writer, when I am empowering you.
Just be. It is not a question of doing, it is one of being.
"What you reject in your self,
you reject in another
What you embrace in your self,
you embrace in another.”
The world is at peace. There is nothing wrong with it.
We interfere with it every day, which causes all the problems. We interfere with each other, which causes suffering.
I am at peace. There is nothing wrong with me.
When I cease to interfere with life, to think that I am the “doer” of this body, I suffer. When I think react to life, to my thoughts, I suffer, which causes all my problems.
When I just be, become aware of my judgments, thoughts and story, I realize there is nothing to fix about myself and I live this radically, by loving and accepting every part of me I have disowned, hated, judged, been afraid of to embrace my wholeness.
You are at peace. There is nothing wrong with you.
When I project my judgments, fears and beliefs on you, to think that I know what is best for you, I experience separation. I experience suffering because I interfere with life.
When I step back, and look at you withholding my judgments, projections, and open my heart with love and acceptance for others. I experience who you really are and not the conceptual beliefs I made up about you in my head. I experience the real you, oneness in a shared relationship and wholeness, first in myself, and then in another.
"Hope and fear are both phantoms
that arise from thinking of the self.
When we don’t see the self as self,
what do we have to fear?
See the world as your self.
Have faith in the way things are.
Love the world as your self;
then you can care for all things.”- Tao Te Ching, (Stephen Mitchell Translation) by Lao Tzu
Forgive them, for they know not what they do.
People do not know they are possessed by their thoughts. Our thoughts possess us, because we believe them and we harm each other as a result.
People do not know they are not their thoughts, emotions and sensations. Therefore, we look for ourselves in changing phenomena, not in the impermanence, that which does not change about ourselves.
People do not know they cannot actually harm each other being that their are not their bodies.
People do not know that forgiveness is not necessary in the face of unconditional love.
Forgiveness is only necessary if you believe you can be harmed or hurt by another.
Most of us, do not know that they are much greater than who they have been taught to believe.
Most people do not know how to love each other. Therefore, each of us are learning to love ourselves, then love each other. This makes forgiveness necessary.
Most of us do not know that love is inside each of us. We believe it only exists outside of us and we have to “get it.” This is a misconception.
Most of us do not know that nothing which we have cannot be taken away, unless we believe it to be so.
Therefore, Forgiveness serves a purpose, because all we want is to love and be loved.
"The world is at peace. There is nothing wrong with it. We interfere with it every day, which causes all the problems. We interfere with each other, which causes suffering."
Where Love Abides by Marcus Thomas
Chasing after love,
Abiding in your own heart
love exudes you
You think the source of it
lives in the world,
appearance of things that make you happy
If that were so,
how come the disappearance of things
makes you suffer?
I’ll tell you why,
every thing that you worship outside of you
And every thought, feeling, sensation
comes and goes
You think it is who you are,
but, I tell you
that every thing that has a birth
Everything that has a death,
Love is that which does not change,
it takes the shape of many forms
but it is not the form
It is that which is permanent
That is what you must seek
Turn towards your self,
leave all your preconcieved notions,
beliefs, concepts, rules,
at the door of your heart
Close your eyes,
and walk through the door
where love has never not been
That which is ineffable
is who you are
Love is reality, fear is an illusory concept created in your mind.
Every time fear arises within you it is attached to a thought about a past or future being projected from your own consciousness.
That future has not happened yet. But, you fear it possibly arriving and that paralyzes you. It is because of what you “might /might not” happen.
A woman being afraid to open her heart again to love the new person in her life because, she fears she will endure heartbreak a second time keeps her out of love. Her fear keeps her from the very love she says wants to experience.
For that to happen she has to open up to love, to the risk of being heart broken so you can experience a love without conditions. A love without conceptual boundaries or conditions on her self or another. She has to step out of faith, trusting that whatever obstacles come her way she can endure.
"Failure is an opportunity.
If you blame someone else,
there is no end to the blame.
Therefore the Master
fulfills her own obligations
and corrects her own mistakes.
She does what she needs to do
and demands nothing of others.” Verse 79, Tao Te Ching
Once she has accepted her own pain, projections without judgment, she recovers, she returns to the peaceful happiness that exists within her self. She knows now that the love she gives comes from her alone, and she gives it freely. Her partner appears, she meets him/her without conceptual ideas about what is love supposed to be like and she practices by inviting her partner to do the same. It gives her joy to share that love with another, without worrying if she going to receive it back. She doesn’t care because, there are no conditions. Together they create a space for love, for both of them to share. As that love expands from her to her partner and from her partner to her, there love grows.
There are no prerequisites, no masks, no lies, no obligations, but the freedom, transparency, adventure and wonder for both partners to explore their love and be present for each other as walk through their journey moving from separateness to oneness.