There is a spot inside you that you feel most vulnerable to not share with others due to your shame, the belief that this part of you is unworthy to be loved. That secret part of you is the key to your healing and the belief of fear that keeps you there. If you really want to love your self you have to share that private wounded or discarded place with others without judgment, fear and unworthiness, to love and accept yourself. That is the courage of being you. - Marcus Thomas
The walls you have built around your heart, are imagined. They’re not real. You placed them there. Therefore, they can be removed by you.
If you tear your own walls down, you can let the closed up damn of love to flow outward into the world, towards others. By taking down these defenses, and opening your heart, you can experience the love within your own heart that you say is not there, but it really is, you’re just afraid of letting it out to experience your own love and glory.
How can the flower, blossom without water?
How can you the love within your heart, be experienced if the door to it is always closed?
You are the door, once you open your heart, the boundlessness of love overflows.
Ask yourself, what walls or fortresses you have created around you own heart? And, ask why are they there? What do you believe will happen? Who would you be without these fearful walls around your heart? Do I want to be right or be happy?
In every circumstance, I tell you, it is fear that keeps you from loving yourself and another. And, it is this fear you have placed there but, only you can remove yourself. Wanting to be right is a form of fear. To keep your position of rightness is what keeps you apart from love and another.
Every defense you think is protecting you from heartache is actually keeping you from experiencing love. Therefore, you experience yourself as separate from another, instead of one, being connected to another, your natural inhertiance.
Take down the defenses and love again. It’s not world war 3, its love.
Are you listening to the Divine? Have you ever received intuitive wisdom?
Have you ever been in the presence of someone and you just knew you loved them?
Or, just knew something about them you did not know the moment before?
Like the information, image, just guided you, directed you, or dropped in your lap?
The information you received in a split moment, kept you alive or safe, just when you need it?
This is always the Divine speaking to you. Without rules, books, authority figures, etc; Just you and The Divine.
I receive direction always, not become I’m better or worser than anyone. But, because, my heart and my is open to God, revealing itself in unlimited ways, not in ways that “I” expect her or him too.
It is an “allowing” and giving up control and expectations. Then, what ever you need is given, even before you ask.
I wasn’t taught this by any particular church or religion. The information or wisdom is always there present within me, it is just revealed when I am ready. Like the saying, when the student is ready, the teacher appears.
So, I do not go to church, because, I do not need it. I do not praise any man as worser or lesser than I, because, I do not need an outer authority, to know who and what I am. God qualifies the called. And, being of service here is just as important as anywhere else.
The temple, the source is within me, and all around me. Not in buildings of wood and stone. It is in my brothers and sisters. In mother nature, in the heavens above, below and through all of life is being lived emanating around me. I love serving and being a example for all of you in the ways I do.
I just wanted to share that experience to let you know, you’re not alone in that being the only one. It happens to many of us.
When I believe I need your love, I fall asleep. I lose the awareness that it is already within me. I do not experience I have it anymore. So, I look to you, someone outside me, to provide love, because, I believe I do not have it.
When you give it, I am happy, when you take it away I am sad. I begin to be angry with you, resent you, and eventually hate you, because, you are not meeting my need for love. You’re not giving me the sex I want. You’re not giving me the approval or appreciation I need so, I have a fit. Then, I leave you.
"Our defenses reflect our wounds. But no person can heal those wounds." - Marianne Williamson
I believe I experience heartbreak. But, I am really experiencing the loss of attachment to need going. Then, I am alone. I eventually, come to accept its over. Then, I look to another person to fulfill the insecure need for love, I believe I do not have and then, it happens all over again. It keeps happening, until I begin to provide love to myself, my needs, my own insecurities. I have to begin to love and accept myself. No one else will do that for me.
"We believe our thoughts and we lose the awareness of our love. That thought become the obstacle to love." - The Work of Byron Katie
Later, I come to realize, she was never responsible for giving me love, and that it is my sole responsibility. I forgive her and myself. I begin to move on. I begin to be happy for my own accord. I understand love is not a need, but an energy that comes from me, and I experience it when I extend it to others. Like, my dog for example.
One day, I’m out at the beach, walking my dog and I meet a girl, sitting on the sand, reading a book that I was reading two days ago. I ask her, what she thinks of the book, and conversation, attraction and three years later a marriage springs from there. I ask myself, was it a coincidence, I met her on the beach that evening, reading that book, in that moment?
I realize, it was no accident, that life, God or the Universe conspired in my awakening to the love that was always within me, and gave me the opportunity to see if I was truly ready to love again without conditions, fears and insecurities.
And, guess what? I was. I was certain.
The journey of the spirit, begins when you decide to let go of the belief that the world will bring you what you are seeking. It is a movement of consciousness from a betrayal of self, not knowing the self, to honoring yourself and knowing who you are.
You begin to stop focusing on just “doing” and return your attention to your “being.”
You start to withdraw from the outer world and begin to turn your attention towards your self.
You take time away from others, to give time to be alone with you. You become comfortable with aloneness.
You stop being afraid and hiding who you are, and begin to allow and reveal your true presence.
You cease to live in the past, or project into the future. You focus on the joy of being alive, here and now.
You stop talking about the path and live the path, the life, the love, the happiness that resides within you.
You begin to become aware of your inner world (thoughts, emotions, images and sensations) perceptions and their impact on your world.
You cease to see your self as a unconscious victim of world but, a participatory conscious creator of your experience.
You withdraw your own projections you have placed on others.
You give up the illusion of separateness and accept oneness as the natural reality.
You understand that there is no one right or wrong way to live your life. There is only what works or serves you, and what doesn’t serve or work for you. And, you allow others the same.
You stop attempting to change others, or what happens in the world and focus on changing your self, your perspective.
You realize that doing-having-being in order to be your self doesn’t work. You reverse your perspective by being happy, expressing happiness and then you’ll attract what you desire.
You give up your story, your identification with the outer world.
You accept the present moment, including circumstances as the only reality that exists.
You realize that all things are impermanent. They come and go. They rise as a wave and return to the ocean. Therefore, you remain detached to objects that come and go but, you enjoy them in the present moment fully.
You stop making every one else responsible for your happiness and become responsible for providing it to your self.
You cease to be dependent on others to determine who you are, the decisions you make, and knowing your direction in life.
You begin to be honest, transparent and act from a place of integrity. You cease pretending to be something you’re not, and just be yourself.
You understand that being attached to the results of your actions leads to suffering while, focusing on just the intention does not.
You are content with where you are, what you have and the things you do.
You stop finding fault with your self, others and the world to and begin to inquire and accept your own dark and light qualities as part of a whole being.
You stop looking for others to be the source for what you think you do not have, and be the source of your own being.
You stop critiquing, judging, resisting and rejecting life and you begin to allow life to flow by accepting reality as it is.
Be like water (conscious awareness) , embrace the fullness, the totality, and boundlessness of who you are.
Be like water, by allowing life to lead you where you need to be, not where you want to go.
Be like water, by realizing you are not the doer of life, rather life is acting through you as the process.
By being like water, you are shapeless, labeless, you have no particular form. You can take the shape of anything, to stay centered in you limitless, realizing you are not any particular form.
Be like water, by knowing you have no end or beginning, you were never born, nor do you die.
As water, you are eternal, ever-present, and abundant.
By being like water, you know that no label, stereotype, belief, cannot explain who and what you are.
All descriptions are pointers, insignias, to the divine presence that you are.
Be like water, and allow the impurities fall and dissipate within the spaciousness of who you are. When you have an emotion, seek not to hold on to it, but to release it. If you hold it, it makes the water, impure or dense, clouding the essence of the water that you are.
All thought of labels, beliefs, stereotypes, prejudices, are imagined densities that attempt to separate the fullness of what and who you are as water.
It is like, cups that hold water, discriminating against bathtubs and sinks for holding water. It is an attempt to make water in one form, greater or lesser than another form, which is just an imagined thought/belief projected on to the forms.
By experiencing each emotion, without attack, judgment, guilt or punishment, you allow them to flow through you and return to the nothingness.
Be like water, by seeing that all fear is an imagined illusion projected on to the present moment, to be in fear of something that has happened or has not happened. It is never present, nor ever will be present.
Be like water, by allowing life to unfold your path, destiny, and moment-to-moment experience before you. In that, you will realize the gifts life gives to you, by being yourself and not trying to control life.
Be like water, and realize that every damn, bridge, or boulder you place before you as a thought of a limitation, you have imposed on yourself. Be like water, and move around, above, through or below, the imagined obstacles, because in reality, they are not real.
Be like water noticing that each thought, emotion, sensation, image is a wave occurring over the vast space of ocean that you are.
Suffering occurs when you think, attach, identify or imagine you True Self to be an object, shape, form or wave.
When you misidentify as a wave, you suffer.
Awakening happens when you as water detach from your self as a wave.
Be like water, by surrendering your attachment to what you thought or believed about what has happened is the way to release the past, allowing the wave to return to stillness.
This allows you to return to the love, happiness and peace that emanates from you.
Be like water, by realizing that you are the ocean (conscious awareness) in which waves are passing through you, not here to stay and you are at peace.
Drop Your Story, Step Into Your Light
He hurt me, that’s your story
She hurt me, that’s your story
How does that help you, pretending to be a victim?
How does that help you, when you see yourself as helpless?
A victim of circumstance.
You can’t be empowered seeing yourself as a victim.
You can be empowered by dropping your story.
Every moment you refuse, or resist to drop your story,
the pile of shit just gets bigger.
Every moment you try to fix, change or alter yourself,
the storm of pain just gets larger.
Every moment you believe more
in the thoughts of your unworthiness,
inadequacy, brokenness, fear and guilt
the way out of darkness appears a little dimmer.
And yes, to feel like shit is a choice.
You can stay in the shit, if you want.
You can choose not too, and leave.
You can choose to see that you are the cause of your own sadness.
You can choose to see that you are the effect of your own happiness.
You can choose to stop trying to fix yourself, others and life
and let things be, as they are.
You can choose to withdraw the attacking, blaming, judging and punishing others
for you “believe” they did, or didn’t do,
and come to terms with
that you are punishing yourself.
You can choose to drop your baggage of
off at the door,
and walk into those “appearing” scary places,
and meet your feelings with gentleness, love,
acceptance and awareness.
You can choose to see those individuals you feel that “hurt” you,
feel those feelings
see those feelings of you “hurting” them
feel those feelings
and let them flow
If you cry so be it, if you don’t so be it.
This is about your “happiness” and state of mind.
By practicing forgiveness,
your peace of mind,
your love in your heart,
your joy of being
and all else secondary
Because, you would rather live
Heaven on Earth,
being happy here and now,
Than suffering on Earth
while not being here in this moment
but, stuck on what has happened,
or what could or should happen
So drop your story,
step into the light
I’m waiting for you to return home.
Imagine that you are in the back seat of a car
The (ego) driver is taking you where you need to go today
While you remain in the back
become consciously aware of your addictions
it could be Facebook, Cigarettes, Alcohol, Drugs, Sex, Video Games, etc;
Do not judge or criticize yourself, just be with this.
Notice “Why?” you’re addicted to them
Notice the thoughts and emotions that accompany your addiction(s).
Notice “What” you are avoiding through the using the addiction.
Notice that you are safe,
even if the mind wants to runaway.
Notice, what your addiction is used for.
Is it to escape something?
Is it to give you a peace of mind?
Is it to fulfill your selfish desire?
Is it to avoid vulnerability, loss, emptiness, sadness, guilt, anger, boredom?
Is it to inflicting pain on yourself?
Is it to avoid emotional, mental, physical abuse?
Is it to judge, attack, blame, or punish others?
Let whatever arises, be there.
Then, whatever comes up,
breathe through your experience
allow it all to permeate your presence.
Then inquire, “Why, was this feeling here?”
Jot down your responses throughout the day. You can share your experience also.