On 3.10.13, it was a normal Sunday, spending time with my daughter and fiancé, eating, playing Wii, coloring and having fun as we usually do. Every other Sunday evening, I usually take my daughter home to her mothers.
This Sunday was different, we got in the car, got on to the highway and begin listening to music. We all seemed happy in that moment. It was raining, but a quiet, comforting kind of rain.
While traveling up towards Wisconsin, coming out of the Chicago loop, a person in a Toyota Prius beside me decides to just get over in the lane I’m in. Although, I maybe in their blind-spot, it never occurs to them to just look out of their window and check. So, what did I do, slow to stop, then I hit the breaks. No matter what I did in that moment, it didn’t not change what was to come. The driver the Toyota Prius, ran into the far left wall, at a left angle, leaving his backend sticking out. As he hit us, we begin to spin counter-clockwise. The car was then facing vehicles in the opposite direction. A Hyundai Sante Fe, hit us head on, bumper to bumper, which made us spin onto the passenger side. As time seem to slow in those last few moments it seemed for me. A semi-truck was heading towards the passenger door, where my fiancé was sitting. I looked at her, and I looked at my daughter in the backseat as if it was over for me. I pulled both of them close to me, and braced for impact.
Bam. Glass shattered as the passenger door was crushing inward toward my fiancé. The semi-truck stopped. Our car stopped. I looked at my fiancé and my daughter, they were alive, but my fiancé’s legs were hurting and my daughter had a cut at the top of her eye-lid and a quarter-size bruise under her eye. My adrenaline kicked in, I pulled both of them out of the car.
Moments later, an ambulance comes takes us to the hospital. We get there as I tell them I’m okay but, I’m in shock, worried and in awe of what the hell just happened. As the doctors look at my daughter, I sit and wait with my fiancé. The social worker and doctors ask are we okay and both of us say yes. In that moment, as I stood up, it all hit me at once, the flashback of it all, and how I could have lost everything, the two most important women I loved in that moment. I cried, I hurted, I was in pain. In that moment and days after it was unbearable to live with that traumatic experience. It was hard and still is somewhat hard to not think about what happened. My friends and family asked what happened, and going over and over and over that experience made me cry more. To fear losing what you love most is the worst thing, the worst that you will have to imagine or endure happening to you. Days later, awareness kicked in and tells me, “Focus on the fact, that you are alive. You, your daughter and your fiancé. You all are alive. I know it hurts Marcus, I know, but be thankful for that.” He (Inner voice) says. My sister said, “God must of been watching out for you. So be thankful, be thankful for your family and that you all are alive.”
Since, the past 6 days, I have been trying to be thankful each day for the simplest things. For my daughter, leaving the hospital fine, for my fiancé being their for me to talk to about my feelings and how its been emotionally for me. For the fact, she makes it home from work every evening. But, another thing this traumatic experience has reminded me of is to spend time with the people I love most. The people I don’t see every day or month. The friends I do not see cause I don’t live where they live anymore. And its reminded me, that it is okay to be vulnerable, tender, loving, to be able to cry, to fear and to feel all that comes through me, because your time on Earth, is finite. Believe me.