“ No one can do for you what you are capable and must do for your self. ”
Article: No Two Really Meet, Unless It’s At The Heart
No two people ever meet because, you have your “story” about who I am and I have my “story” about who you are. Neither “story” is the real. It’s just an idea I have of you and you have of me.
This “story” prevents us from seeing who each other really is. The story is the illusion of separation. The beliefs, ideas that you “think” separate you from another person.
I look at you and I make up a story about you, superficially based on your appearance, your ethnicity, your gender, your sexual identity, your spirituality, your religion, your political affiliation, family values, your astrology sign, your taste in culture, your ideas on “marriage, child raising, career aspirations,” etc., as ways to defend, argue, attack, judge, or blame you to reinforce who I “think” you are (story). I project my fears on to you, then make you at fault. I blame you because, I don’t want to take responsibility for my own projections.
I do my best to be whatever you want me to be to keep you. I do my best to manipulate you, control you, possess you, because, you are my property, not a person. I value your outer beauty, because, I do not take the time, to see what makes you truly beautiful.
If you do anything that I don’t like, I don’t love you, because, I love you only when we agree with each other, or when one of thinks we are right and the other is wrong.
This is the insanity of how the ego works. The game is setup this way, and most people play it. Accept, when few individuals choose to free themselves and withdraw their projections to see reality as it is.
No two people ever meet, because they believe they are separate. The “reality” is separation never occurred except for in our own minds, in our own thoughts.
If we sit and look into each one another’s eyes for 1 whole minute with unconditional love and acceptance, we can see the truth. The dream of suffering and drama subsides. We become still. We realize we are love, interconnected, happiness, creativity, abundance, peace, and free and that is all that matters.
If we can bring love and acceptance to our own wounds, our minds and hearts open and we can meet each other at the heart of love instead of fear.
“ If you love me, and I love you then we commit to not trying to change each other to be what the other wants, and instead just accept one another. ”
Article: Instead of Being a Fault-Finder, Be A Love-Reminder
The human mind has over 50,000+ thoughts per day. Could you imagine each of your thoughts finding fault with everything? Each thought has to do with correcting, fixing, attacking, blaming or criticizing others because, the way someone lives is not perfect enough for you. Or, Life is not perfect enough for you. Could you imagine how stressful and time consuming that is?
If you are finding fault with life when there are no problems with anything, you suffer, it is as simple as that. Your thoughts add their commentary on: How long the Starbucks line is, How long the traffic is, How someone shouldn’t be wearing shorts on a 55 degree day outside, How the weather is not warm enough, or How you are not intelligent or beautiful enough?
The point: When you believe your thoughts you suffer and you create suffering for yourself and others as a result.
If you really want to live a “peaceful life,” you have to make “peace” with life. You make peace by stop finding fault with everything your mind thinks is imperfect. Life simply is, without interpretation or commentary. You accept it as it is in the moment. You accept it as it is, because that is the Reality. That is how you stay in the present.
That is how you keep your peace, your sanity, by being aware that your mind has crazy ass thoughts but you, that which is aware of them does not have to believe them. That is your power.
To cultivate that power of Awareness, of Presence or Spaciousness, you have to be still by focusing on your breathing. That brings you back to the Now, to your peace.
When you love life, you love peace, you love the present, you love and accept what happens, because reality is no other way than it appears than here in the Now. By reminding yourself of the “inherent peace, love and happiness” that exist within you, you give us the permission to do the same. That is being that change you want to see in the world.
“ When you give up your thoughts about being not good enough, you realize you are always enough by being good. You reminded of your essential goodness. ”
“ Hurt feelings or discomfort of any kind cannot be caused by another person. No one outside me can hurt me. That’s not a possibility. It’s only when I believe a stressful thought that “I” get hurt. And I’m the one who is hurting me by believing what I think. This is very good news, because it means that I don’t have to get someone to stop hurting me. I’m the one who can stop hurting me. It’s within my power. ”
Article: Self-Betrayal - Saying “Yes” When You Really Mean “No”
It’s an act of self-betrayal to say, “Yes” to someone, when you really mean, “No.” Once you do tell someone “Yes,” you begin to resent that person and blame them later for what you said “Yes” to, but really meant “No.”
You chose to do this because, you wanted “approval” from that person. But, deeper than approval, you wanted “love” from them. But, you choose to manipulate them and yourself by lying to receive this love, which always ends in suffering for the both of you.
You cannot receive love or give love by being dishonest towards yourself or another. Your intention voids the love before it is received by another. Which is why you beat yourself up about it after you made the choice.
“When you know better, you live within alignment with Love. When you do not know better, you fall out of alignment with Love and you suffer.”
You cannot blame another for mistakes you have chosen to make. That is avoiding personal responsibility.
By being honest, say Yes when you means Yes, and No when you mean No. That honors yourself, by taking responsibility and you’ll be happy in the long run. That’s the way the Universe is setup.
Realize, you cannot always please everyone so, you might as well honor you truth instead of betraying yourself.
“ You don’t have to do or say anything to be beautiful, you just are by simply abiding in your presence. ”
“ Sometimes it makes me want to cry, when I look into your eyes and see the God of love permeating through you. Truly, I know that I cannot hurt you, because I love you. ”
“ Once you give up trying to control the world, you begin to experience unconditional love though acceptance of whatever happens in the present moment. You understand that what is, is what is meant to be because, it is in your reality. ”
Article: Is It Flirting or Simply Noticing Beauty?
Is It Flirting or Noticing Beauty?
To be realistic, you have to understand that human beings will stare, glance, and look at each other out of simply just being appreciative of another persons beauty. They don’t just do it to people but, to art, newborn babies, music, watching a sunset or rise, or nature. Just because, a woman/man see another as beautiful in certain way, does not mean the person they are coupled with is not lovable or not loved as at all. It just means they are noticing that another person is beautiful.
If they laugh, or enjoy being in their presence that is not a bad thing. It is only conducive if what they act on infringes on the agreements they setup in their relationship. Your partner was looking at men and women before they met you, they will after. Not because they want them, but because their beautiful.
When you tell a person they can’t do something, you are not loving them, you’re trying to control them because, you fear you will lose the love in your relationship.
If you are insecure, you need to ask yourself, “Can I really lose the love in the relationship or is it my thoughts just projecting it fears onto the relationship?”
In reality, you can never lose the love you have for someone. You love them because, you love them. It does not matter if they love you. Your love for them is not conditional on the fact they love you. You love them because it is a joy, to love being in the presence of them.
Am I saying flirting does not exist?
No, I am saying that just cause flirting appears as that does not mean its flirting. But, consider you might just be overreacting. If your partner is flirting let your concerns and listen to theirs be heard but, don’t tell them what to do or that will exacerbate the issue and they will eventually leave you because you were not accepting them as they are.
Either they will continue to flirt or consciously change their behavior. But, if you are trying to control your relationship is a recipe for disaster.
Consider your partner is teaching you to love without conditions by bringing up your insecurities and fears. That is a lesson to learn.
To truly love, means being free to be who you are without judgment, manipulation, control or fear. That means all the lying games stop when it comes down to real love.
Noticing when you are in fear:
Just know when you’re in fear, you are not loving, when you’re being insecure or controlling, jealous or possessing, you are not loving. That is your opportunity to grow.
"We’re all here in this life to teach each other how to love without conditions. It’s getting rid of your preconceived ideas about love, so real love and come through the both of you."